Friend

 

The James Luke Society

The James Luke Society was a “secret” organization founded by Ian Bruno and other friends in 2002. The primary goal of the JLS was to collectively seek out and consume the worst movies, music, TV shows that could be found. The JLS meetings, known as “Weekends of Pain,” offered an opportunity for members to watch bad movies, smoke bad cigars, and consume bad grain alcohol amongst good friends. These meetings would conclude with a vote on the worst movie shown and the winner would be dubbed the “Master”[1] for the next meeting. The Master was charged with arranging the location, theme, protocol, and “pain event” for the following meeting. Between 2002-2012 the JLS held 31 such meetings, primarily in London, Ontario (aka Londonia, aka Vortex 1) but also at various times in Windsor, Toronto, and Halifax. Over the course of these meetings, the JLS has viewed over 250 movies and shorts.

These JLS meetings spawned a music collective known as James Luke and The Deadly Sanctuary for which Ian was a central creative force, playing piano, guitar, keyboard, accordion, bagpipe chanter, and contributing vocals, midi programming, and movie samples. Generally, compositions built upon themes drawn from content screened during the Weekends of Pain. Over the years, the collective has produced dozens of original compositions, homages, and “covers.” Several JL&TDS tracks appeared in local films and theater presentations including A Fortnight’s Rest, the Theatre Windsor production of Night of the Living Dead, and Ian’s own Survive Another Day.

Here’s how Ian Bruno (aka Wu Li) described the origins of the JLS and the Weekend of Pain in 2004:

==========================

Weekend of Pain Historian, Wu Li.

“It came to pass that one night I had been watching television and stumbled upon some show playing some lame movie called Cave Dwellers. Only there were people and robots making fun of the movie as it went along. That was my first experience watching the cult TV show Mystery Science Theatre 3000. Furthermore, and soon after, we had family at our house. They urged us to watch MST3K: The Movie that was playing on the local cable TV movie station. Needless to say I thought it was great.

A few months later, I was wandering during a work period in my High School computer science class. I passed the desk where two of my fellow quiz team members, Ox and Astralplay (who I didn’t know very well

at the time) were sitting working on their individual computer programs. On the desk next to them was MST3K: The Movie. Astralplay was lending it to Ox. A conversation began between the 3 of us that led to MST3K nights with our circles of friends. These movies were mostly from Astralplay’s estensive library. We each eventually found, bought and collected our own MST3K movies. From Mystery Science Theatre we had learned what composed a bad movie, and what kinds of bad movies exist. We learned it well.

As it turned out, Ox, Astralplay, and I were also James Bond fans. We watched almost all of the James Bond movies ever made. But still, there was one that remained that we had not seen. Though not affiliated with the real story line of James Bond, Casino Royale was made as a spoof. As it turned out, this movie is considered by many to be very hard to watch, having many talented actors and comedians at their very worst. But a point was made that if you were borrowing this movie, you’d have to watch it in one sitting, without breaks, and without stopping it to continue later in the week. This didn’t stop at Casino Royale as other movies were found and the vicious cycle continued.

The idea then donned on me a few years later, that there should be a weekend of bad movies. Movies unaided by the comedy stylings of MST3K. An entire weekend of a gauntlet of B-movie after B-movie. Watching each of the movies in one sitting, as we did Casino Royale. Perhaps you’d have to listen to only bad music, as well as drink juice or pop that tastes bad. Play video games and boring board games that were simply no fun or tedious. In short a Weekend of Pain.

Ox and Astralplay laughed at the idea and totally supported it. But the idea hung in the air for awhile as Ox was out of town for University, and coordinating schedules was difficult. The idea laid dormant for the time being. The eventual catalyst for action occured on the way home from a Sci-fi convention that a large group our friends attended every year. I am a westling fan and on that weekend I had purchased a CD full of wrestling music. We played a bit of it on Astralplay’s CD player in his car. I then thought aloud, ”wouldn’t it suck if this particular wrestling song was stuck on repeat for an entire road trip?” The whole car agreed. I then postulated that it would hurt even more if that road trip was going to a Weekend of Pain. We then agreed that within the next few months, there would be a first Weekend of Pain. A B-movie marathon like no other that would span 3 days and 2 nights.

After a few months, a date was decided. Astralplay and I would make a road trip to Ox’s apartment. We brought a small assortment of movies that were in our possession, but in desperation for more material we stopped at a local convenience store that sold used movies for under $2.00. They had the movies from a video rental store that went out of business. We bought the worst and cheapest from their selection and set out on the road to the first Weekend of Pain….”

End of Chapter I

 

Wu Li

 

==============

Timeline of the JLS and Weekends of Pain

WEEKEND OF PAIN (Circa July 4th, 2002)

Films:

Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Heart’s Club Band (1978)-Ox

Samson in the Wax Museum (Santo en el Museo de Cera-1963)-Wu Li

Godzilla vs. The Smog Monster (Gojira tai Hedora-1971)-Astralplay

Gorgo (1961)-Astralplay

 

WEEKEND OF PAIN II: THE SEQUEL (January 17th – 19th, 2003)

Films:

One of our Dinosaurs is Missing(1975)-Ox

Zardoz (1974)-Ox

WWE Backlash (2001)-Wu Li

Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones (2002)-Wu Li

 

WEEKEND OF PAIN III: SECRETS AND LIES (Circa May 10th, 2003)

Films:

Eliminators (1986)-Ox

Robo Man (Who?-1973)-Astralplay

The Female Bunch (1969)-Wu Li

Mission: Thunderbolt (1983)-Astralplay

Battle Beyond the Stars (1980)-Wu Li

Hobgoblins (1987)- Astralplay

 

WEEKEND OF PAIN IV: THE DARKENING (August 13th – 15th, 2003)

Shorts:

Space Ghost and Dino Boy (1966)-Astralplay

Y2K: The Year 2000 Made Easy (1999)-Astralplay

Films:

The Secret Agent Club (1996)-Wu Li

The Lair of the White Worm (1988)-Trax

King Kong Lives (1986)-Ox

Journey to the Center of Time (1967)-Ox

The Naked Cage (1986)-Wu Li

 

WEEKEND OF PAIN V: THE FINAL CONFLICT (September 19th – 21st, 2003)

Shorts:

Japanimation Classics: Spaceketeers (SF Saiyuki Starzinger-1979)-Trax

Films:

K-9000 (1991)-Astralplay

Courier of Death (1984)-Crazylegs

Disco Godfather (1979)-Astralplay

Bloodsport II: The Next Kumite (1996)-Trax

The Terrorists (1983)-Astralplay

Monster From Green Hell (1958)-Ox

Casablanca Express (1988)-Ox

PAIN EVENT: The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978)-Wu Li

 

NIGHT OF PAIN I

Films:

Against the Drunken Cat Paws (Fighting Claw Fights 14 Demons-1984)-Astralplay

Gorath (Yosei Gorasu-1962)-Wu Li

Midnite Spares (1983)-Crazylegs

 

WEEKEND OF PAIN VI: THE RETURN

Lost in Obscurity

 

WEEKEND OF PAIN VII: NEMESIS (January 16th – 18th, 2004)

Shorts:

Finnish Disco Dance Instruction-Ox

Bigfoot and Wildboy: Volume 1 (1977)-Wu Li/Trax

Getting the Most From Your Quasar Microwave-Astralplay

Rambo: Disaster in Delgado (1980s)-Trax

Films:

Gargantua (1998)-Ox

Fury of the Wolfman (La Furia del Hombre Lobo-1972)-Trax

Fantasy Mission Force (Mai Nei Dak Gung Dui-1984)-Ox

Deadly Sanctuary (Marquis de Sade: Justine-1969)-Astralplay

Plutonium Baby (1987)-Astralplay

Laser Mission (1990)-Ox

PAIN EVENT: For Your Height Only(1979)-Astralplay

 

WEEKEND OF PAIN VIII: JUDGMENT DAY (March 12th – 14th, 2004)

Shorts:

Macho Man Randy Savage vs. Jushin Lyger(1996/Japan)-Wu Li

Getting the Most From Your Panasonic Microwave-Astralplay

Films:

Second Wind (1976)-Wu Li

The Brain (Brain of Blood-1972)-Ox

Breeders (1986)-Astralplay

Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe (1991)-Wu Li

Cosmos: War of the Planets (Battaglie Negli Spazi Stellari-1977)-Ox

Hell Squad (1985)-Crazylegs

Future Kill (1985)-Trax

Hell Comes to Frogtown (1987)-Crazylegs

Satan’s School for Girls (1973)-Astralplay

PAIN EVENT: Fire Dragon (Foh Lung-1986)-Trax

 

WEEKEND OF PAIN 9: AND I’M JUST SICK ABOUT IT (May 14th – 16th, 2004)

Shorts:

WEW: Women’s Extreme Wrestling Volume 4 (2003) -Wu Li

An Introduction to Baseball Card Collecting (1994)-Wu Li

Films:

Black Mask 2:City of Masks (2002)-Wu Li

Kill, Kill, Overkill (Twisted Fate-1994)-Ox

Malibu Express (1985)-Astralplay

Angels Die Hard (1970)-Trax

Heartbeeps (1981)-Wu Li

Boogieman II (1983)-Astralplay

Thunder Ninja Kids 2: Wonderful Mission (1990)-Trax

Psychomania (Death Wheelers Are… Psycho Maniacs-1971)-Ox

PAIN EVENT: Leonard Part 6 (1987)-Ox

 

WEEKEND OF PAIN X: Boring…. (June 30th-July 2nd)

Shorts:

Muscle Rock Madness-(Astralplay)

BMX-Rated: A Reno Show-(Wu Li)

Films:

Assignment: Skybolt (Kataskopoi sto Saroniko, 1968)-Wu Li

Incident on a Dark Street (1973)-Ox

This is Branson Missouri (1995)-Wu Li

Helltrain (Train special pour SS, 1977)-Astralplay

The Shape of Things to Come (1979)-Astralplay

River of No Return (1954)-Trax

The Giant Gila Monster (1959)-Ox

Voodoo Dolls (1990)-Trax

PAIN EVENT: Turkish Star Wars (D ̧nyayi kurtaran adam, 1982)-Wu Li

 

NIGHT OF PAIN II (August 1, 2004)

Plan 9 From Outer Space (1959) -Astralplay

Children Shouldn’t Play With Dead Things (1973)-Astralplay

 

NIGHT OF PAIN III-Ox’s Sendoff (Mid August, 2004)

Extra Terrestrial Visitors (Pod People) (1983)*

 

WEEKEND OF PAIN XI – Untitled (October 8th-10th, 2004)

Shorts:

Tax Attack 87 (1986)-Wu Li

Bill Cosby’s Picture Pages ”Shapes and Colors” (1987)-Ox

Batman Volume 2: A Nipponese Trap and Embers of Evil (1943)-Wu Li

Ricky Martin: It’s a Crazy Life (1999)-Trax

Films:

The Invincible Barbarian (1983)-Ox (Care package)

I Married a Vampire (1986)-Astralplay

Jill the Ripper (2000)-Crazylegs

Eagles Attack at Dawn (Pritza Hagdola, Ha-1970)-Trax

Batman and Robin (1997)-Wu Li

The Human Tornado (Dolemite II, 1976)-Crazy Adam

Flesh Eating Mothers (1989)-Crazylegs

PAIN EVENT-Manos: Hands of Fate*(1966)-Astralplay

 

WEEKEND OF PAIN XII (December 10th-12th, 2004)

Shorts:

Car Time 1-2-3-4-Wu Li

The Trollies Radio Show Sing Along (1992)—Astralplay

Feathers for Felines: Volume 2 (1998)—Wu Li

Bibleman (1995)—Astralplay

Films:

Zardoz (1974)-Mixer **

Going Overboard (The Unsinkable Shecky Moskowitz-1989)-Twisto

Island of Blood (Whodunit?-1982)—J.P.G.

Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter (2002)-Wu Li

Quest for the Egg Salad (2002)-Metal Jesus

Vibrations-(Cyberstorm-1995)-Astralplay

Alien Seed(1989)-Ox (Care package)

PAIN EVENT-Shandra: The Jungle Girl(1999)-Crazylegs

 

NIGHT OF PAIN IV (December 30th, 2004)

Hercules in New York (Hercules Goes Bananas-1969)-Wu Li

 

WEEKEND OF PAIN 13: SLOP SLOP SLOP SLOP (March 3rd-March 5th, 2005)

Shorts:

Alf’s Special Christmas (1987)-Twisto

Randy Savage: The Man Behind the Madness (1999)-Wu Li

Films:

Highlander II: The Quickening (1991)-Wu Li

From Justin to Kelly (2003)-Metal Jesus

Dee Snider’s Strangeland (1998)-Twisto

Titanic (1997)-Twisto

Bronx Executioner (1989)-Trax

The Galaxy Invader (1985)-Astralplay

Dragon Hunt (1987)-Wu Li

Curse of the Headless Horseman (1974)-Ox (care package)

PAIN EVENT-Bill Cosby:Himself (1983)-Twisto

 

WEEKEND OF PAIN 14: HALIFAX OLD SCHOOL (April 28th-May 3rd, 2005)

Shorts:

Robo-Formers-Star of Fear–Ox

Home Safe-With Martin Short (1984)–Ox

Crime Strike-Car Theft (1999)–Astralplay

Paul Reiser’s Hollywood Adventure (1989)—Wu Li

Bill Cosby’s Picture Pages ”Numbers” (1992)–Ox

Films:

Mini-Skirt Mob (1968)-Ox

Asylum of Satan (1975)-Astralplay

Robot Monster (1953)-Wu Li

Psychic Killer (1975)-Wu Li

Nam Angels (1989)-Astralplay

Chrome and Hot Leather (1971)-Ox

Superchick (1973)-Ox

Grey Matter (1977)-Astralplay

Ator The Fighting Eagle (1982)-Wu Li

The Mysterians (1957)-Astralplay

PAIN EVENT-Threes (1968)-Ox

 

NIGHT OF PAIN V (May 13th, 2005)

The Wolfman Never Sleeps (1972)—Wu Li

 

WEEKEND OF PAIN XV (June 3rd-5th, 2005)

Shorts:

The Immoral Mr Phillips-Ox

Stone Mason: Concrete Finish System Once Upon a Potty For Him (1990)—Astralplay

Films:

Kazaam! (1996)-Metal Jesus

TerrorVision (1986)-Astralplay

Thunder Ninja Kids 3:The Hunt for the Devil Boxer (1991)-Trax

Primal Scream (1987)-Crazylegs

Yongary:Monster From the Deep (Taekoesu Yonggary-1967)-Ox

Habitat (1997)—J.P.G.

PAIN EVENT-Hindu Superman (1987)-Wu Li

 

WEEKEND OF PAIN XVI: GLASS SHARDS…. OR CARROT LADY? (August 5th-7th, 2005)

Shorts:

The Best of Gumby–Astralplay

Roller Derby Wars—Wu Li

Hulk Hogan’s Rockin’ Wrestling: Volume 1—Wu Li

Films:

Boa vs. Python (2004)-Metal Jesus

Planet of the Dinosaurs (1978)-Ox (care package)

Fist of Fear/Touch of Death (1980)-Vlad

The Wild Women of Wongo (1958)-Wu Li

Dracula 3000 (2004)-Metal Jesus

Satan’s Black Wedding (1975)-Wu Li

Piranha, Piranha (1972)-Astralplay

Munchies (1987)-Trax

PAIN EVENT: Doctor Bloodbath (1987)-Trax

 

NIGHT OF PAIN 6: CRAZY FAT NIGHT

Films:

Crazy Fat Ethel (1975)-Wu Li

Crazy Fat Ethel 2 (1987)-Wu Li

 

WEEKEND OF PAIN 17: FERGIEPLAY DOT COM (November 11th-13th, 2005)

Shorts:

Britney Spears Star Baby Scrap Book Unauthorized (1997)—Wu Li

Sean Connery’s Edinburgh (1982)—Wu Li

Never Be a Victim: Volume 4—Metal Jesus

Troops (1997)—Wu li

Films:

Modesty Blaise (1966)-Ox(Care Package)

Curse of the Swamp Creature (1966)-Wu Li

War of the Robots (1978)-Trax

Caravan of Courage: An Ewok Adventure (1984)-Crazylegs

Prayer of the Rollerboys (1991)-Metal Jesus

Enter the Devil (1974)-Twisto

PAIN EVENT: Cannibal Holocaust (1980)-Astralplay

 

WEEKEND OF PAIN 18: E.H.L.C.S.5000.S.C.K.N.O.T.M (December 6th-8th, 2006)

Shorts:

Time Out—Astralplay

Ultimate Warrior vs ”Macho King” Randy Savage. Wrestlemania 7 (1991)—Wu Li

Rand McNally:Central Florida with Annette Funicello (1986)—Wu Li

Superman (1943)—Trax

Films:

Nude on the Moon (1961)-Ox(Care Package)

The Street Corner Kids:The Sequel (1995)-Toast

5000 Fingers of Dr. T. (1953)-Astralplay

The Suckling (1990)-Wu Li

The Lost World (1925)-Twisto

They Saved Hitler’s Brain (1969)-Wu Li

Christmas Evil (1980)-Wu Li

PAIN EVENT: Shakes the Clown (1991)-Metal Jesus

 

NIGHT OF PAIN 7

Films:

Alcatraz Breakout—Wu Li

.357 Magnum—Wu Li

 

WEEKEND OF PAIN 19: THE SECRET COUNCIL February ??, 2006

Films:

Gunblast (1980)—Wu Li

Secret Agent 00 Soul (1990)–Astralplay

Dwain Esper’s Maniac (1934)—Wu Li

Mob War (1989)—Trax

Pain Event: The Timber Tramps—Wu Li

 

WEEKEND OF PAIN XX: THE SICKNESS (March 3rd-5th, 2006)

Shorts:

Ultimate ProWrestling Volume 1-Wu Li

H.R. Pufnstuf-Dinner For Two, Orson-Wu Li

Ultimate ProWrestling Volume 2-Wu Li

Films:

In the Year 2889(Ox)

She(Trax)

Death Wish Club(Astralplay)

Barbarian Queen(Crazylegs)

AntiChrist(Metal Jesus)

Freakshow!(Toast)

PAIN EVENT: Shaolin Dolemite(Wu Li)

 

WEEKEND OF PAIN XXI (September 8th-10th, 2006)

Shorts:

La Blue Girl: Episode I

Dino Riders Pilot

Ultimate ProWrestling Volume 3

Harry Knuckles vs. The Treasure of the Aztec Mummy

Films:

The Over-the-Hill Gang(1969)-Ox(Care Package)

Dracula vs. Frankenstein(Los Monstruos del Terror, 1970)-Astralplay

The Vampire Dentist-Toast

Snakes on a Train(2006)-Metal Jesus

Intercessor: Another Rock and Roll Nightmare(2005)-Wu Li

The Witching(Necromancy, 1972)-Vlad(Care Package)

PAIN EVENT: Zombie Christ (2006)-Trax

 

WEEKEND OF PAIN XXII (November 6-8, 2006)

Shorts:

I Wanna be a Astronaut (????)—Astralplay

The Debut of the Shockmaster (????)—Wu Li

Rambo—The Doomsday Machine—Wu Li

Le Voyage Dans La Lune–JessicaRabbit

Arcade Attack—Toast

Films:

The Kill Squad (1982)—JessicaRabbit,

Ankle Biters (2002)—Metal Jesus

Crimson: The Color of Terror (1973)—Trax

Captain America (1990)—CrazyLegs

The Milpitas Monster (1976)—Astralplay

DOUBLE PAIN EVENT:

Turist Omer Uzay Yolunda aka Turkish Star Trek (1973)—Wu Li

Alyas Batman and Robin (1991)—Toast

 

WEEKEND OF PAIN XXIII (February 25-27, 2007)

Shorts:

Cartoon All Stars to the Rescue (1990)—Toast,

Mark’s First Annual Christmas Celebration (2006)—Jessica Rabbit,

The Making of the World’s Finest Rum—OX,

Hygiene for Men—Wu Li,

Hygiene for Women—Wu Li

Films:

Relentless 3 (1993)—Ox,

Track of the Vampire (1966)—Jessica Rabbit,

Hard Rock Zombies (1985)—Trax,

Dragon Fury (1995)—Toast,

The Neverending Story III (1994)—Crazylegs,

Battlefield Earth (2000)—Metal Jesus,

Big Sister (1995)—Wu Li

Pain Event: Cannibal Ferox (1981)

 

NIGHT OF PAIN 7 (June 17, 2007)

Films:

Survival Game (1987)

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)

 

WEEKEND OF PAIN XXIV (July 13-15, 2007)

Shorts:

Manners Monster: Rudy Goes to Dinner—Frenchimus Maximus,

It’s a God Thing (1998)—Frenchimus Maximus,

Films:

Seven Lucky Ninja Kids (1989)—Trax,

White Fange to the Rescue (1974)—Ox,

Tarkan vs. The Vikings (1971)—Wu Li,

Rollergator (1996)—Wu Li,

Die Hard Dracula (1998)—Toast,

Passionata (1992)—Frenchimus Maximus,

Richard Kern’s Hardcore Collection (1985)—Astralplay,

Blood Freak (1972)—Crazylegs,

PAIN EVENT: The Beginning of the End (1957)—Trax

 

WEEKEND OF PAIN XXV: The Whitening (December 19-21, 2007)

Shorts:

Richard Simmons’ Reach for Fitness (1994)—Metal Jesus

How to Make Funny Home Videos (1990)—Wu Li,

The Legend of Hawaiian Slammers (1994)—Wu Li

Films:

Death Force (1978)—Trax,

Electronic Lover (1966)—Wu Li

The Last House on the Left (1972)—Astralplay

Enter Zombie King (2003)—Wu Li

Reform School Girls (1986)—Crazylegs

Deathstalker 4: Match of Titans (1991)—Toast

Omega Cop (1990)—Wu Li

Karate Cop (1991)—Wu Li

PAIN EVENT: Cemetery Sisters (1987)—Wu Li

 

WEEKEND OF PAIN XXVI (May 5-7, 2008)

Shorts:

Dance the Macarena (1996)—Ox

Way of the Master (2008)—Astralplay

Dianetics (????)—Wu Li

Films:

The Corpse Vanishes (1942),

Bride of the Monster (1955),

Mac and Me (1988)—Zombella,

Alien 51 (2004)—Trax,

Goldy III (1995)—Astralplay,

Women’s Camp 119 (1977)—Toast,

The Terror of Tinytown (1938)—Wu Li,

PAIN EVENT: Snakes on a Plane (2006)—Wu Li

 

WEEKEND OF PAIN XXVII (August 26-28, 2008)

Shorts:

Lauara McKenzie’s Travel Tips: A Video Guide of Rome and Surrounding Day Trips (1985)—Wu Li Banana Splits Show (1968)—Metal Jesus

Hot Tips, Cool Looks (1995)—Wu Li,

Dave Nichol and the Toronto Gang of Eleven (????)–????,

Films:

Driller Killer (2004)—Astralplay,

Martin (1976)—Zombella,

Left Behind: world at War (2005)—Astralplay,

Apocalypse: Caught in the Eye of the Storm (1998)—Frenchimus Maximus,

Colossus and the Amazon Queen (1960)—Trax,

Mr. Hercules Against Karate (1973),

Baxter (1989)—Toast

PAIN EVENT: KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park (1978)—Toast

 

WEEKEND OF PAIN XXVIII (December 27-29, 2008)

Shorts:

Series and Parallel Circuits (1996)—Wu Li,

The Magical World of Harry Potter: The Unauthorized Story of J.K. Rowling (1999)—Frenchimus Maximus,

Mary Kate and Ashley and the Case of the Volcano (1996)—Frenchimus Maximus,

Ironman Magazine’s Sexy Swimsuit #5 Spectacular (2000)—Zombella,

Ouch (2008)—Wu Li,

Primary Voltaic Cells (1996)—Wu Li

Films:

Showgirls (SpikeTV edit) (1995)—Wu Li

Lion Man (1980)—Wu Li,

Jean Paul II (1984)—F. Max

Necromantik (1987)—Astralplay

Thunderground (1989)—Toast,

Mr. Jingles (2008)—Zombella

Pain Event: National Lampoon’s One, Two, Many (2008)—F. Max.


[1] (a reference to the classic film “Manos the Hands of Fate”)

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